Here is the query I used to generate their responses:
question...(kinda for personal reasons, but also for psychological research in the field of love and intimacy as well) : what are you first attracted to in a man? we discussed this issue real briefly in my class, and we discarded the theory that women are attracted to big muscular men but we never replaced it with anything that women are attracted to...so im kinda doing surveys...and ill be frank~im not entirely doing this for the sake of the advancement of knowledge in the psych field ;-) but take your time to answer,
And here is my basic concluding summary of what most people said:
interesting you made that comment about eye contact. i hear that a lot from females. i didnt know so many men were dissing the ladies on that aspect! i dont think i have had that problem though. or at least i hope i havent, and if so i will be diligent enough to fix it as soon as possible. to share a little bit of the rest of the study with you: most girls responded just the same way you did. ALMOST everyone said they were attracted to facial features first and foremost. things like eyes and smiles and teeth and lips and the such.
well yeah, my personal reasons are to become more attractive to the opposite sex of course! even though i have started an exercise and diet program, and as a result got much more attention from the women around here, i must still say that i would not have that if i was not wearing a smile on my face the whole time. i feel that the health of my body allowed me to wear that smile much more often as im able to physically endure more of lifes lil obstacles and not get exhausted. just for the simple fact that existence takes energy. hence metabolism and the eventual decay of the body :)
i am attracted to large breasts and a round butt. there is no way i can escape that (unless i happen to be one of those men who like their women to be of the larger frame). It is simple biology. And I happen to know that women ARE in fact, attracted to a physically fit and proportionate man. these inclinations are hardwired in our brains by evolutionary psychobiology.
But i should state that merely by my attraction to a nice set of juggs and a banging ass does not mean that i will act on my desires to go up and start having sex with person of said characteristics :) lol. So I am saying that there are other factors to attraction that are seemingly beyond surface appearance, but which are expressed in the surface appearances themselves, just in between the lines. to read in between the lines, you see things like body gestures which reflect the individuals basic energy and gives one a feeling of how to approach them.
so the question arises: what body gestures am i attracted to then? my answer is that i like the free-spirited and joyful type. very generic of me i know. id also like to include a real driving life force in there as well. this doesnt imply that said person will be ambitious, but rather will be passionate about whatever activity consumes their heart. it is rare to find someone of such a nature though, but that is a blessing in a way as it will make it easier for me to identify such a person when i run across them. to help give you a better idea of the type i am speaking of, think of a teacher you had that was really enthused about their job and brought all the best qualities of human nature into the forefront for the means of not only doing his or her job but just because it gave them a sense of exuberant living.
aside from all that seemingly negative stuff though, i am just glad to know that women can see things like happiness and personal vitality radiating from a man's face (that is where a lot of energy is expressed)....but i still know that certain physical traits like athletic build are important for sexual attraction (even though the brain is the biggest sexual organ).
And here are the actual responses I received from those who participated:
The first thing I look at are their eyes and their smile. I hope that maybe we'll be able to talk about something else one day.
Nice teeth (nice smile) and eyes. Also body weight. He doesn't have to be muscular as long as he's not over weight or fat. Honestly I'm attracted to asian men. Maybe it's the eyes. I'm not all that into big huge muscles. That's just me. I'm sure every women is attracted to something different.
A great body and a pretty face never hurt...but, to be completely honest, I look for a guy that can make me laugh. I think that that is so important. Looks fade, but a good sense of humor can last forever!
Actually my friends
and I have discussed this topic at length. What is it
initially that attracts you to the opposite sex? I am of the belief that
it's the physical that comes first for both men and women although my female
friends insist that this is just not true. Only men are attracted to the
physical we (women) are first attracted to personality, conversation etc. I
think this is a load of baloney. You wouldn't even have let the guy talk to
you if you didn't think he was cute (physically). So, initially, bottom
line, it's how the guy looks. Something about the physical package that I
found attractive. Every woman has her own standards or yes, the list. She
may not admit to it but it exists somewhere. I also feel that you have a
tendency to look for the opposite of you. For instance, I'm an athletic
person, I keep myself in shape, I lead a healthy lifestyle, I enjoy athletic
activities so, yes, I am initially attracted to athletic men with athletic
bodies (trust me there is a difference) who have a healthy lifestyle.
But just as I might initially find a man I meet attractive because
physically he's my ideal as I get to know him he might gradually become more
and more physically unattractive to me and vice versa but that's another
Good question, I'm sure you'll have to ask a lot of women because we all have different tastes! Personally the things that attract me to a man are his eyes and mouth. It seems kind of weird but I think big eyes with long eyelashes are very sexy on a man. Build is also something I look at too, but my entire attraction isn't based on it. I'm not a skinny girl so I tend to like solid guys with meat on their bones, and muscles are nice, but I don't like the meat head type. But as we have all learned from personal experience in the end it doesn't matter how attracted you are to someone if you can't hold a decent conversation! Oh yeah, I like butts too...kind of like bubble butts. haa.
thing I am attracted to is a guy's face....body isn't a
major issue as long as it looks alright with the face.
Well, for me personally, the eyes attract me, you can tell alot about someone by just lookin in their eyes. And hair is also important to me because if someone doesnt take care of their hair then that means they are either lazy or just dont care. And last but not least hands, i like strong hands with no dirt under the nails cause thats just nasty. That of course is going on just looks what really draws me to a person once i meet them is their personality, you gotta be friendly and have a good sense of humor. I tend to gravitate more to humorous people. Because usually im the one crackin jokes and being loud so i would need someone on the same level.
yea, I think women are attracted to big muscular men but not too big or too heavy looking. I want to see the muscle when boy take off their cloth. hehe I think some girls are attracted to hands and cute hips. I like their smell of the neck Have a nice day!
I would be lying if I said that looks don't matter, so I will go ahead and say it...initially, I am attracted to how a guy looks and how he presents himself. But that's only good for the first five minutes of meeting someone. After that, I'm looking for someone who can put a smile on my face. Not in the corny, "you're so beautiful" way, but in the way that makes you feel like the ice has finally been broken and you can stop sucking in your gut and slouch down in your chair.
I think the two qualities that attract me the most are a pair of beautiful eyes and a great smile. The face is extremely important to me. The rest of the body really doesn't matter if he doesn't have a handsome face. That was what I noticed first about you actually, your eyes, they were beautiful. It wasn't until later that I noticed you had a nice body too (of course, you made a point of showing me by lifting up your shirt and pointing to your abs =) lol.) I'm not attracted to guys who are too big or too muscular, I think the ripped, steroid look is disgusting actually. I like my guy to be at least as tall as I am, and stronger than I am also, because I don't want to feel huge compared to him.
I do like muscles, I have to admit, but I think that could be because I'm pretty strong myself, and muscles are a sure fire sign that a guy will be stronger than me. Geez Matt I could write you a novel about what I'm attracted to. OK hmmm.... healthy skin. Skin color doesn't really matter that much as long as it's healthy. Tan, white, dark, doesn't matter, just a good complexion. I also notice the way a guy carries himself. You can tell a lot about his confidence just by the way he walks, sits, whatever. It drives me nuts when a guy just stares at the ground, or can't look me in the eye when he's talking to me, or others.
Well my first
attraction to a man is a kind face good
structure and a genuwine smile I have a thing about
smiles almost an obsession, deep eyes always are aplus and yes a nice body is great but in all honesty I
kinda like a little tummy on a guy maybe 10 lbs of
cuteness...makes me feel less insecure b/c like all
girls I am insecure :/ also I think a little tummy is
sexy and makes a person seem more real. Not every
person was born with perfectly chizzled abs that seems
ohh so natural in society. So body wise I don't like
flawless men I think its too fake I've dated men like
that before and I never felt I could be myself I was
never comfrotable so for me my main attraction is a
genuwine beauty the type of persom that you don't
think has the capability to lie to you. Sometimes you
meet a person and they give you this amazing vibe and
when they smile it consumes you, that is true bliss to
me. what about you what are you first attracted too
with females (from my own personal research I've found
a good 70% of all men look at my breast before the
catch a glimpse of my face)
Well, i would have to say that the first thing i notice in a guy is his eyes and smile.
I don't want to come across as being shallow, but i am first attracted to physical appearances...but that isn't necessarily what keeps me interested. I figure looks are important, it's what gets you in the door..it's primarly important though that you have something else to offer, but like i said i don't know a girl who doesn't like a pair of strong toned arms!
well i just like man with 6 pack n a firm hard chest n he also must be able to seduced me that it
hey to be honest i dont look for anything in a male as such because every person is different and we become attracted to them for different reasons. i truly dont believe in looking for something in a man every single one is different.
The first thing that attracts me to a man is his face... he doesn't have to be gorgeous, just well proportioned with good skin. Second is how perceptive he is to me: i.e. my presence, appearance, what i say and do. the most important thing is how our personalities react together.
I will have to admit that looks do play a big part. I think a nice looking tall guy with a good build is what attracts me first. I'll admit that I am not attracted to short, fat guys. But with the whole money thing, I don't agree with that. Not all women are out for money... The ones that are, are just being materialistic. Also, the guy needs substance and to be able to hold a decent conversation....
you caught me off guard with that question as my friends and I at work were at a coffee shop the other day and we just sat, sipped and watched people walk by. well we kinda noticed some very interesting people and lets say even "gentlemen" who sat next to us and even walked by. In general, I have always looked out for an over-all impression which i must say I can't underestimate just from one glance, but more a less, evaluate. The mannerisms are very important as well his sense of taste with what he talks about in public especially if its for attention, his smile (teeth has to be complete) with no missing tooth noticable from the frontal view(a plus) and hygiene. Physical is not very important but of course being over weight has its limits. He has to learn to take care of his body because our body is our temple and that shows what type of person respects him/herself. His hair though its long or short must be clean.
The fact that a man can hold an intelligent conversation turns me on. You could always meet mr hunk but if he can not communicate or hold a somewhat intelligent conversation it is over...
Well I can only tell you what attracts me! I go for the hansome guys first, you must have a cute face, I'm sorry but personality alone doesn't count to ME! You gotta have some looks, then offcourse the personality has to compliment the good looks. I am not into real muscular and stuff, but I'm attracted to fit men cus I like to keep fit; so I guess I look for someone who can match or compliment myself. (If I was a fatty I guess I would want someone with flabs like me not so?) Butt all in all. Good looks, fit and personality hun.
well what i am first attracted to in a guy is if he can make me smile so personality, but looks wise, a great smile :) and a tall guy lol caus i am short lol... but that is what attracts me... also a good dresser... but i dunno what else, but personality is pretty much number one on my list
I am first attracted to a guy who has a good physique not just like in body type but someone who has nice eyes or a great smile. I lile guys that I guys stick out from the norm or at least have something about them that does. It has happened actually just recently when an average looking guy has totally surprised me with the their awesome personality. Alot of times it depends though, but it is on the surface things that I first look for.
hm, in terms of
physical, I like lean muscle, and nice
bone structure, but lips def. top it off for me. :)
First imperssion will always be there but bottom line there's more to it than the physical appearance of a person. A guy can be a drop dead gorgeous but if they dont have that inner beuaty, that good personality, it will be useless. Yes it feels great to be around with a hottie but its not all that. My answer, i dont really dwell on looks. Looks are nothing but accessories we can always get them from the store and surgeon.
I'm not completely sure I can narrow down to what exactly first attracts me to a man. It all comes down to physical attraction (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) hehe. Some of my friends do like the muscle guys, I am attracted to guys who have boyish looks, tall and fit, like basketball players. We usually do not agree on the guys' looks. But sometimes due to the way a guy carries himself seems unattractive (egotistical, uncomfident, uneducated etc.) Everyone is different, we all have a different view as to what is beautiful physically, but we mostly agree what is attractive of a person is from within.
first attracted to ina man is the face, haircut, style then everything else`
think a lot of it is chance and personal preference. For example i met my boyfriend in a bar (notoriously wrong place to meet people) and in Costa Rica after having bad mouthed all ticos for 5 months straight...so maybe it takes a little bit of luck too. But the things that i look for is someone who listens well, and is a good talker too. I don't like it when people touch me like they know me right after i've met them (ie putting a hand on my back or toucing my face...minor things). For me, since i'm not good at comunicating my feelings, a man who can is a must have. Saying typical guy things is a no no (eeww, i'm not going down the sanitary napkin aisle!! whatever) Hmmm, what else...I think the other part, the luck part is falling for someone who is falling for you too. and really i haven't found any rhyme or reason to that. But i do think that it's worth waiting for!
first is definately personality and wit.
i need a man that can keep up with me, and i can tell within the first 5 minutes if he can. after those 5 minutes i am either lying to myself or desperate. in that, i need to laugh. i mean in the gut, tears in the eyes... and the conversation needs to have the potential to sway from light and witty to deep and personal. always a necesity to be easy on the eyes, but chemistry comes in so many forms... that emotional and intellectual chemistry might often be more important that the physical. this isn't to be said that physical isn't important, because it is. there has to be a medium found in all three or eventually, it falls apart. an there, my friend, is the rub. that is really all i have to say about it. wits really count... but can't get you everywhere.
here's the truth... A man with a good stable/economic future ahead of himself is Sooo; verrry, verrry attractive, probably number one on my list. He has to be scholarly educated, or at least on the way to that position. Now I don't know who else you've been asking and I don't know how honest they have been; but let me tell you, every lady who wants to live pretty decent and comfortably wants a man with a future. Hmmm, then there's the man's phyique and senuality, all those things that lead me to believe he'll be good in bed. I want him to have good, Symetrical, proportional features so his genes will be carried on to my/our children, and our children will be good looking (and therefore be given an easier chance of success and procreation in the future). OK, let me remind you this is the bare-boned truth, I know it sounds brutal (and actually there's MORE) but it's really all about living, survival of the fittest, passing on the best genes and possiblity of a good future to our children. We are all sexual beings, but sexuality stems from the need to procreate the best way we possibly can. Why do you think we always want to have SEX with GOOD LOOKING people! Because it's survival of the fittest, because WE WANT SOME OF THOSE GOOD GENES!! I sometimes wonder why the weakest in physical attributes are still lurking around. Probably because only people of their less attractive attributes will have sex with them; or their damn personality is just so fucking great(!!) that people can overlook their unattrctiveness. I like a man with broad shoulders, A NICE SIXPACK, a good looking face,and who's not THAT short! A good looking face consists of eyes, nose, ears, chin, forehead, and mouth that are all proportional to each other. I'm picky about a guys nose being too big personally. I like nice eyes and nice skin too. The other face stuff I can work with. Guys are more attractive/prettier (in a good way) if their face looks very slightly feminine/has a certain feminine quality. Guys for me should be about 5'6"-6'1". I'm Reeeallly picky about a guys figure!! I focus on a nice stomach. Any GUY who is SKINNY but has a HUGE POTBELLY IS SOOOO OUT OF THE PICTURE FOR ME!! If you look strong and thick all around but have some fat in your gut, it's TOTALLY FINE for me. I like guys that are NOT skinny preferably. I think most everyone will get fat when they get older, so a guy who is thick all over to begin with will fill in most proportionally. You don't have to be THAT thick though. I suspect by this point you're probably tired of hearing my opinion or just jeerily amused. Physically, I don't know EXACTLY what ALL women want, but I know they want THESE 2 things: 1) NOT FAT. In GOOD OR EXELLENT physical condition, and 2) Proportional Facial features. Oh MY God (!!!), there's still more!! Then theirs the guys personality. THis I must say is Totally in personal opinion. Some words are; sweet, PATIENT(!!) intelligent, openminded but still practical, charismatic, Adventurous, funny (not required) but at least a good sense of humor. Can be somewhat quiet or talkative, either way is Ok, though I do like a guy who speaks a Reasonable amount. Thoughtful, intuitive, forgiving. I like a guy who is devoted to me emotionally and eventually forever. I want this man and I to know each other, fall in love, and be together forever. I want our love to grow and our sex to be as passionate. First off though I notice economic standing, Stomach and symetrical face (nice nose, eyes, skin).
Well I will tell you that I like tall guys. Not insanley tall but I find short guys to be sooo unattractive. It's what seperates the men from the boys. So, good height is definatley a must and it's what I notice first. And definantly the smile...nice teeth. Well, to be honest I'm not always attracted to guys with bulging muscles either. Like Vin Diesel. But at the same time, sometimes bigger muscles is just so damn sexy. It's like wow! What a man! But I'll say for the most part smaller but defined muscles are great.
Well, to be honest
with you, and I don't know if it applies for other women as well, but what I
usually see first in a man is the way he talks about his family and how he
takes care of them.. If he treats his family well, then you know that he will
"most probably" take care of you for the rest of your life..
Maybe it seems that women are attracted to big muscular man but there is a possibility that a big muscular man means "protection" and of course, in other words, he'd take good care of you and protect your family or some funny reason..
i guess i'm first attracted to how a person carries themself. self-esteem is always a turn on. but on the other hand, cockiness is the biggest turn off to me. a man that can make me laugh definetely wins my attention. a great smile is always a plus in my book. intelligence is definetely a priority. i know you only asked for the characteristic that initially attracted me but all of these things i look for in a man.
Personally my first thing that attracts me is a cute face(nice eyes) and then arms shoulders and back...other then the physical...someone who isn't afraid to stand up for themselves. Someone stronger (mentally and physically and emotionally) then me. Someone who isn't a push over and can argue.
Well 1st I look @ the way he dresses, I like the baggy look I guess so if the guy is wearing fitted clothes or tapered pants I hate that. I actually would never date a real muscukar guy, I personally think its gross and all me friends think so 2. We like real men, meaning work out sometimes but its not all they care about. I guess I am different from most girlz that took the survey in ur class.
I like 4 men 2 be low maintnace, a litlte sweaty and hairy...lol...u know what I mean
2nd they have 2 be kind of shy, I am the outgoing type so I like my man to be opposite2 balance me out.
3rd his face is more important than body
4th I like educated men
5th I like me that are not 2 kinky
6th I like exotic guys, mixed spanish, etc.
I like bald guys ;-)
Glad to hear you discarded the theory of "muscular" men, because that is bogus. Women aren't looking for that, yes, they are impressed by it but not looking for it. In the group of females I know, they are attracted to eyes, teeth and smile.
for me, its definitely the smile and the eyes. the eyes, in searching for sincerity... looking for the detail they take in or how much they are tuned in
I first notice the face in general
mainly eyes, mouth, teeth, hair, stuff like that
i'm not attracted to big muscular men, some time i like thin guys... I'm attracted to guys with nice smiles and a personality; this, not meaning over-opinionated assholes. Of course, this may seem kind of shallow, but i'm looking for my other half, someone that matches my looks, my personality, someone that can feed off my energy. I believe that i have met a couple of people like such, but were missing something, or maybe I was missing something (time, maturity, etc). Now, i've never been in love and i do not see it happening any time soon, but i'm not one to decide on such subject. oh yeah, back on the subject, us women are not attracted to big muscular dudes. It's all for looks. Example, many guys would not be attracted to Pamela Anderson, rather to a more down to earth lady such as Beyonce, in a heartbeat. We are not looking for a Brad Pitt, instead, we are looking for our benjamin bratt.
the problem w/ your question is that women..unlike men are given a myriad of "ideals" to look for in their mate.. and at the age of about 23 the stop dating for fun, but they look for relationships that have long term potential
most women want an attractive physique ..not muscle bound but athletic..not fat and lethargic...we look for guys we can do things with, physical and extra cirricular activities....
but it is individual since we are not holding guys to an ideal ..such as girls and movie stars and super models
Well…I think what first and foremost attracts me to a guy is confidence, a guy that sure of himself but also not so into himself that he doesn’t notice the world around him. Muscles are nice but really a great smile and an over the top expression of confidence will do it for me, even if the guy is dressed in dirty clothes and looks as if he has been working construction all day.
he just has to be someone that I am attracted to. and my idea of good looks is completely different than anyone elses
I loe chubby men
symetrical features has been proven to be a feature of attractive people...
and I'vve recently learned, I have to have a ton in common with him. its no fun unless you do
well to be perfectly honest
i don't find muscles attractive at all
if a guy i like happens to have them, that's fine
i expect this to sound cliche
but i find humor is the one thing i look for the most
there's nothing better to be than someone who can keep up a banter with me
make me laugh
discuss things with me
anything from the holocost to books to (and this may sound awful) to farting
look shave never mattered much to me
looks have, sorry, typing error
every guy i've ever dated has not neccessarily started out as being all that attractive but once you get to know them
and my friends agree
they're some of the most attractive people i've ever met
i look for a natural charisma i guess
that's the only constant i've found in all the people i've ever cared to share my time with
i'm not good with saying what girls like physically because we don't tend to dumb it down to that
i'm not really attracted to big muscluar men first thing that gets me is the eyes and smile
well I am first attracted to a mans eyes and smile
OK well um hmmm the first thing i notice is how a guy holds himself like if he has confidence or not you can tell alot by the way a person stands and dresses....next thing i look at is the face if he has a sexy face woohoo i prefer darker guys mostly mixed guys
body type doens't matter