Journal Entry – Chapter 2
“The Choice Is Yours”
This title rings true in so many ways given the mindset that I have. True, some of the
things that we say or do are a product of how one was brought up. As a baby, we truly
do not have a choice on what to believe is right or wrong. The teachings and beliefs
instilled in me are a true reflection of my parents own beliefs, whether personal or
religious. Nevertheless, there came a point in my life that a change in my mindset came
to light. I strongly believe that we have a choice on how life turns out and how I can
choose the direction I would like. Sometimes things truly don’t work out the way we
want, but does that mean we have to surrender our thought of having no control?
Some theories presented in this chapter can really be questioned and viewed as more
of an interpretation versus a scientific certainty. Free Will is one in which I believe we
all possess. Free Will is something that allows me to make a choice as to the steps and
direction that I want my life to take. Simply sitting at home and watching Dr. Phil (I
REALLY don’t watch it,) will not channel my desire of becoming a nurse and transform
it into a reality. I do have to get up and go to class and make a decision that this is the
direction I want to take. Free Will allows me to choose that path. Now playing devil’s
advocate, if I had a genetic disorder, I probably do not have the mindset to put together a
plan of attack to make my aspirations come true because of the obvious diminished
mental capacity that would not allow me to go towards that
path. So for me to say Free
Will alone is sufficient, would categorically be incorrect. That is where I agree that in
some form a predisposition of one’s ability can alter and dictate one own future because
of an inborn characteristic.
The Locus of Control (internal) is something I attribute to my parent’s insight and
their hopes that being in this country would allow me many opportunities that were not
afforded to them in their country or their generation. They always instilled in me that one
must count on themselves for all the victories and defeats. Believing that one outside
person has the ability to maneuver the way I live my life would be something that my
parents did not instill in me. Given that small history, I believe that has made me adopt
the internal locus outlook describe in this chapter. I look towards my parents as
wonderful individuals who exhume an internal locus, if not for that, they would never
have left their country to give their children a better life. Being born in this country
coupled with internal locus that was instilled in me, I became and believed that I alone
can in some way control the journey.
In the daily dealings with people, I can recognize those that do not believe in thoughts
being the very engine to our existence. The mere power of one’s thought, can provoke or
inhibit how one’s day, or even on a bigger scale, life can turn out. Thought to them is
merely an instinctive reaction versus a controlled entity. I constantly talk with other
mothers about their children and constantly hear about how uncontrollable their child is.
I truly feel like standing up and screaming to them that they have the power to control or
alter how their children react; they simply just chalk it up to “Well that’s how he/she is.”
If only these mothers can instill in their children a positive influence and filter out all of
the negative influences that are in their lives on a daily basis, perhaps they can truly see
how a positive thought process can supersede a negative one.
To focus on your language and your thoughts truly is a monstrous task to ask of some
people. During my younger years (chuckle, chuckle) I did not have any patience and let
all the little insignificant things alter and direct my energy and mindset. It wasn’t until
later that I discovered that it is much easier and productive to think out certain situations,
and mimic the self-talk approach. Even without knowing this process, I was able to
weed out the emotions, negative and positive ones, to be streamlined into my daily life.
Worrying was something that was completely unproductive to me and still remains that
way.
I recently accompanied my best friend to a one-day seminar hosted by Oprah Winfrey
at
happiness comes from within. Just to say it was an Oprah event, we all know what
frames of reference we are referring to. Over generalizing the event, it encompassed that
all women should find happiness within, to be in control of what our actions are and to
acknowledge that who and what we are today is a quilt of what we have knitted over the
years. In order to change, if we are unhappy with ourselves, we must learn how to knit
again. Now to say that the whole event was a crock of #$@@ is an understatement, what
I did learn is that there are women out there (men too), that still do not believe that their
mindset and thought process is a true blueprint to their passage in life. I found it
illuminating that the class I was taking was putting everything in perspective and
reconfirmed that the paradigm and frames of reference that I read about were in our day
to day lives.
I believe that there are some emotions that evolve with age. The way I reacted to
things now are not the way I reacted to them back, lets say 10 years ago, the change that
comes to reacting to these problems comes with the realization that we are who we are by
what we physically do, not by an unexplainable circumstance that alters our lifeline. I am
who I am because of the tangible situations and thought process that have engulfed my
mindset. Once we all acknowledge how “in control” we are of our lives, the brighter our
path to happiness becomes. I have always believed in reacting to the things in life that
we can control. If we
can control it and change it, then
do so, if it is something we can
not control or change, then move on. This chapter has taught me the very same notion
that I have tried to adopt in my everyday life and the life of those around me. Let’s just
hope that’s enough! J