Communication
and Relationships
Chapter 9
The most important single ingredient in the formula
of
success is knowing how to get along with people.
Theodore
Roosevelt, Politician
Learning Objectives
Describe
the six elements of communication.
Summarize
the forms and functions of nonverbal
communication.
List
several skills necessary for effective speaking and active listening.
Explain
the relationship between stereotypes, prejudice, and empathy.
Define
intimacy and explain how to develop it in a relationship.
Cite the
characteristics of satisfying intimate relationships.
Explain
how to handle conflict effectively.
Effective Communication
Communication A process of giving or
exchanging messages; a back-and-forth exchange of thoughts and feelings.
Interpersonal Communication One-on-one, usually face-to-face
communication.
Activity 46: How Much Do You
Know About Communication?
Success Secret
Good
communicators are self-aware.
Elements of Communication
Sender The person can be a writer,
speaker, or one who sends a nonverbal (wordless) message.
Message Expression of a thought or feeling that can
be written, spoken or nonverbal.
Channel The medium in which the message is delivered:
face-to-face, text, voice-mail, email, etc.
Context The time and place of communication. Being
aware of context helps you choose the right words.
Receiver The person who
receives the message and provides feedback.
Elements
of Communication
Communication Breakdown
Physical Barriers -background
noise, poor acoustics, speakers appearance and tone of voice, your physical
discomfort: hot, cold, tired, ill, etc.
Emotional Barriers
-sadness, excitement, boredom, anxiety, etc.
Language and Cultural
Barriers geographic areas, groups, taboos, etc.
Feedback -the
receivers response: agreement, disagreement, questions, confusion, anger,
delight, etc.
Activity 47: Analyzing
Communication
Nonverbal Communication
Speaking
without words, nonverbal cues
Functions of Nonverbal
Communication
Managing Conversations Using signs to start, manage,
and end conversations.
Providing Feedback Signs tell you a lot about what the other
person is thinking and feeling.
Clarifying Messages Voice
tone, body language, and personal distance clarify verbal messages.
Nonverbal
Communication continued
.
Forms of
Nonverbal Communication
Voice Speed, pitch, volume and tone.
Personal Distance The amount of space between sender and
receiver from 4 feet to 0 inches dependent upon the relationship, i.e.,
stranger, friend, family, partner.
Body Language Facial expressions, posture and gestures.
Most non-verbal clues have
multiple meanings.
Influences
on Nonverbal Communication
Improving Your
Communication Skills
Become an Effective Speaker
Speak clearly
Use a large and expressive vocabulary
Use positive body language
Tell the truth
Examples of each skill?
Improving Your
Communication Skills 2
Welcome
feedback
Pay
attention to listeners nonverbal signals
Show
respect for other peoples feelings and points of view
Examples of each skill?
Personal Journal 9.1 I
Statements
Improving Your
Communication Skills 3
Be an Active Listener (EAR)
Listen
with an understanding and pay close attention to what is being said
BE Encouraging
Ask the
person to continue talking (go on, you were
saying . . .).
Use
brief words, sounds, or gestures to let the person know you are listening. Examples?
Remain
silent to give the speaker room to continue.
Use positive body language such as eye contact to
indicate interest.
Improving Your
Communication Skills 4
BE Attending
Being focused, alert, and open to receiving
information. This can be difficult to do when tired or bored.
Examples of attending?
BE Responding
Give constructive feedback with reflecting and
paraphrasing.
Examples of responding?
Activity 49: Giving Feedback
Healthy Relationships
Relationship A meaningful connection with
another human being.
Group Relationships A set
of people (3 or more) who influence each other.
We can
choose some groups; club, school, or company, but we cant choose our family,
age group or ethnic group.
Group Relationships
Conformity A change
in behavior caused by a desire to follow the norms of a group.
Think about how group norms affect your behavior. Examples?
Groupthink Simplistic thinking to maintain
the status quo rather than thinking critically.
Tragic example: Challenger
Deaths, 1986
Rejecting
Stereotypes and Prejudice
Prejudice A negative feeling or attitude
toward a group that results from oversimplified beliefs.
Discrimination Treating a person or group
differently based on a characteristic.
Stereotypes and You
Personal Journal 9.2 Understanding
Diversity
Personal Journal 9.3 Circles of Yourself
Developing Empathy
Empathy Awareness of and sensitivity to the feelings,
thoughts, and experiences of others.
Examples:
If I
were my boss, how would I feel about having an employee like me? Would I
think I was a good worker? Reliable? Responsible? Nice to work with?
How would
I feel if I were an immigrant who had just arrived in America? Would I
feel isolated? Unsure of whom to trust? Challenged? Hopeful?
Perform an empathy check up on
yourself.
Interpersonal Relationships
Interpersonal, intimate,
relationships between two people, whether platonic or sexual, differ from
casual relationships. Two people:
Know
much private information about each other
Influence
each other often, and in a meaningful way
Feel
great affection for one another
Think of
themselves as us
Trust
one another
Share
breadth (many topics) and depth (inner feelings)
Activity 50: Your Close
Relationships
Self Disclosure
Communicating your real thoughts, desires, and feelings
According
to the Johari Window Model, all information about you falls into 4 categories:
Open Self -things
you know about yourself and that you have no reason to hide from other people.
Hidden Self -things
you know about yourself, but that you hide from other people.
Blind Self -things
that other people can see about you, but that you cannot see about yourself.
Unknown Self -things
that no one can see about you, such as unknown talents, abilities, and
attitudes, and forgotten and repressed experiences and emotions.
Successful
Intimate Relationships
To be
emotionally rewarding, successful intimate relationships require all of three
characteristics:
Sharing,
Emotional Support, Sociability
Success Secrets
To build intimate relationships you need to reveal
your true self.
The more you invest in a relationship, the more you
get back.
Providing
Emotional Support
Be
self-aware and emotionally aware.
Show,
and truly feel, empathy.
Practice
active listening.
Consider
the other persons motivations and needs.
Display
concern, caring, and genuine interest.
Provide
encouragement and emotional support.
Avoid
hurtful behaviors such as dishonesty, selfishness, dependency, attempts at
control, and physical or psychological abuse.
Handling
Relationship Conflict
Conflict Disagreement that occurs when individuals or groups clash
over needs, values, emotions or power. Examples?
Every relationship, no matter how harmonious, occasionally faces
conflict.
Personal Journal 9.4 Dealing
with Conflict
Success Secret
Focus on solutions, not blame.
Resolving Conflict
Effective communication is the key to resolving conflicts.
Move away from
confrontation. Accept
that there is a problem, then focus on the
facts, not on blame.
Listen actively. Pay full
attention and withhold judgment.
State your needs. Be open
about your needs and remember that you and the other person have an equal right
to have your needs met.
Generate options. Brainstorm
possible solutions, then discuss how well each one would work.
Commit to a solution. Once you
choose a solution, follow through and do what you promised.